Wandering Meditations

The Way of the Superior Man

24 min read

Structure of This Note

  • There is a “long summary” that is purely a summarization of the author’s words
  • After there is a “short summary & analysis”. It is a condenced summary with just the main ideas mixed in with my own thoughts / interpretations of the author’s ideas.

Long Summary

Part One: A Man’s Way

1: Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life

  • rather than trying to fix your woman’s character/personality problems, give her love by touching her and telling her you love her - p. 15
  • don’t wait to do that which you love. Every moment waited and a moment wasted! Don’t think “I’ll have more time in the future”, just do what you can today

2: Live with an Open Heart Even if it Hurts

  • it’s better to live in a pained heart rather than a closed one. Learn to stay in pained place.
  • if you are faced with a difficult situation, like you failed at a project, caught lying by your woman, getting bullied, etc, and you react by withdrawing, hiding, tensing up and your chest contracting, etc, then that means you have a poor reaction to hurt. You are unable to act. You are trapped in your own self-protective tension, no longer a free man - p. 17

3: Live as if Your Father Were Dead

4: Know your Real Edge and Don’t Fake It

  • every man has fears, resistance, and limits. Don’t fake it, accept it and admit to it!
  • it’s better to be honest about your real edge then to fake it
  • fear can be being scared with discomfort in your life. For example, you have a job where you are comfortable and you’re too afraid to get a new one even though you KNOW it will help you move closer to what you really want to do in your life - p. 21
  • at the very least, be AWARE of your fears. Don’t lie to yourself about them
  • a man living his fear day-to-day is more trustworthy and inspirational

5: Always Hold to Your Deepest Realization

  • not much here

6: Never Change your Mind Just to Please a Woman

  • simply going along your woman’s choices even when you disagree, will only lead to resentment for each other
  • you must trust in your own wisdom, otherwise no one will, including your own woman
  • even if you end up being wrong, that’s okay because then your wisdom will grow
  • if you just follow your woman and she’s wrong, you’ll blame her, and if she’s right you’ll feel disempowered

7: Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship

  • it’s better to give your woman 30 minutes of your undivided love and attention, rather than a few hours of your weak and undivided attention

8: Lean Just Beyond Your Edge

  • you should learn to NOT fear your fear
  • living beyond your edge slightly puts you in that sweet spot of living in your ‘fear’ zone but not too stressful
  • this is how you can continuously improve in life

9: Do It For Love

  • give EVERYTHING you possibly can to your woman and the world
  • don’t just to things for your own pleasure
    • it’s not fun for your woman if you have sex just for your own pleasure and orgasm. That’s how the world feels too! Go after your purpose

10: Enjoy Your Friends’ Criticism

  • your ability to take criticism is a measure of your capacity to receive masculine energy
  • often times if you had a poor masculine role model (father) your ability to receive masculine energy is poor and you’d be defensive when receiving criticism, just like a woman
  • the masculine force is that of “loving challenge and guidance”
  • your male friends should encompass this masculine force

11: If You Don’t Know Your Purpose, Discover It. NOW

  • everything in a man’s life must be aligned with his purpose. Without, he is lost and weak
  • this weakness will undermine his ‘erection’ in the world AND his erection with his woman
  • the superior man is not seeking fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full through his purpose
    • work and woman can be opportunities to give your gifts, but your purpose must be something beyond that. Obviously work and purpose often times do overlap

12: Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life

  • you must be okay with going through a phase of unknowingness as you wait for a new purpose to emerge
  • your purpose is discovered when you live at your edge
  • your true purpose is deep inside beneath many layers. These layers are all your ‘lesser purposes’, often times inherited from parents.
    • ex: your dad was a firefighter, so you wanted to be a firefighter
  • each purpose/layer is meant to be fully lived until it becomes empty or boring. At which point you must discard it and move on to the next deeper layer

13: Don’t Use Your Family as an Excuse

  • a man shouldn’t give up his ultimate purpose for the sake of caring for children and house-keeping. Of course he should do those things, but never by giving up his ultimate purpose
  • your woman and children will feel your weakness when you give up on your purpose. They will then test your capacity to stand your ground
  • some men’s deepest purpose and calling is their family, in which cause this rule doesn’t apply to them. But most men have a deeper calling.
  • spending a short time with a father who has a clear mission, full of love, absolutely present, will impact the children positively, while spending so much time with a father who is ambiguous in his intent and has lost touch with his purpose will be negative
  • the quality of time spend with children is more important than the quantity of time spent
  • children learn from their parents by osmosis and can truly feel their emotional state. That’s why it’s negative if the father is lost and has no purpose.

14: Don’t Get Lost in Tasks and Duties

  • don’t sacrifice presence in the moment, love, freedom, and full consciousness for tasks and duties
  • ensure you take adequate ‘refreshers’ while doing tasks. Think about these things:
    • your own death
    • the image of the most enlightened being you know
    • comtemplate the mystery of existence
    • remember the infinite
  • you are NOT a drone. You are the unbounded mystery of love. Be so, without forgetting your tasks - p. 50

15: Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier

  • woman naturally test their men
    • these could be in the form of her complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or undermining his purpose
  • a man should learn to appreciate these tests because she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness
  • one of the deepest pleasures in intimacy for a woman is testing her man, and then feeling that he is not moved off course by that challenge/test
  • the most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present. She cannot move you because you already are what you are, with or without her

Part Two: Dealing with Women

16: Women are not Liars

  • “keeping your word” is a masculine trait
  • a man’s word is his honor. A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment
    • the masculine means what it says. The feminine says what it feels
  • her feelings, and therefore what she will do, may change every 5 minutes
  • don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it - p. 60

17: Praise Her

  • masculine grows by challenge; feminine grows by praise
  • a man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman
  • if you want your woman to grow in her radiance, health, happiness, love, beauty, power, and depth, praise these qualities

18: Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her

  • don’t tolerate a bitchy attitude, rather serve her and lover her with every ounce you have available
  • if she’s still not open to the love you’re willing to give, it’s time to end the relationship without anger or resentment
  • the whole point of intimacy is to serve each other in growth and love. Intimacy is about growing more than you could by yourself.
  • a woman’s moods are not a curse, rather are a challenge for the man. You shouldn’t tolerate any negative mood from your woman, rather use this as an opportunity to give your loving gift.
  • there are many ways to deal with her moods and help her open up
    • tickle her
    • take of your clothes and dance
    • make animal sounds
    • sing opera
    • press your belly into her
    • lift her off the ground and spin her

19: Don’t Analyze your Woman

  • the feminine mood are like weather patterns - they change all the time and are hard to predict
  • most woman’s emotional problems stems from lack of love, so rather than analysis, just give her love
  • don’t question her / analyze her while she’s in the bad mood that she’s in, rather give her love then talk about things afterwards

20: Don’t Suggest That a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem

  • a woman is better off when her man has everything planned and under control
    • on her birthday, telling her that “we can do whatever you want today!” is very bad. Rather tell her that “you have 30 minutes to pack your bags, we’re going on a trip”
  • the masculine emotional problems can be solved by analyzing your purpose and re-aligning your direction. Woman are NOT the same. Their emotional problems are rooted in love.

21: Stay With Her Intensity - To A Point

  • the way you react to your woman’s chaos reflects how you’d react to the chaos of the world
  • don’t run from your woman’s chaos. If she’s hysterical, don’t say “I’ll come back to you when you can behave like a human”
  • when she’s acting crazy, stay clam and present. Give her love. Press your belly into her. Smile. Scream then lick her face. Do whatever it takes to crack her shell and get inside.
  • you have mastered woman and the world when no desire either to avoid or attain sways your loving or limits your freedom - p. 76

22: Don’t Force the Feminine to Make Decisions

  • part of your masculine gift is making decisions. Don’t just answer with “whatever you want”, this is the response a friend would make, not a lover and a partner
  • the more she needs to make her own decisions, the more masculine she’ll become, which would lead to conflict in the relationship because there won’t be a masculine-feminine polarity

Part Three: Working with Polarity and Energy

23: Your Attraction to the Feminine is Inevitable

  • masculine men are attracted to feminine women and feminine energy. Don’t run away from this or hide this.
  • There are times you’ll see a random woman and get turned on. This is fully normal.
  • Simply seeing a pretty and radiant woman can fill your whole day with delight
  • all desire for the feminine is an aspect of your innate impulse to give love

24: Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complementary Opposite

  • a more masculine man will be attracted to a more feminine woman, and vice versa. A balanced man would be attracted to a balanced woman
  • a woman’s expression of ecstasy is divine. Men in secular countries literally pay for porn or strip dancing. But this isn’t the only form of feminine ecstasy. There is also spiritual ecstasy like those of religious dancers (such as in India). See pg 89-90 for explanation

25: Know What Is Important In Your Woman

  • the feminine is the force of life. The more masculine you are, the more your woman’s feminine energy will be important to you
  • you must not want your woman to be everything: your business partner one moment, your friend the other, a mother another moment, and your lover the next moment, etc
    • conflicts can occur if this is the case. You want to get business done, while she wants affection, and vice versa etc
  • the main purpose between the two partners is the serve one another’s enlightenment through your unwavering commitment to love, and to enliven one another’s core by the bodily transmission of love via sexual polarity
    • so she can also be your business partner, or mother of your kids, etc, but these things must NOT interfere with the main purpose

26: You Will Often Want More Than One Woman

  • self-discipline is NOT self-suppression
    • suppression is when you resist and fight against your desires, keeping them buried
    • self-discipline is when your highest desires rule your lowest desires
  • it’s a natural masculine thing to desire multiple woman, even when you’re happy with your woman. But you should have some self-discipline and prioritize your woman over that desire

27: Young Women Offer You A Special Energy

  • as a woman gets older, she usually takes on more and more masculine tasks and responsibilities, so her radiance begins to decrease

28: Each Woman Has a “Temperature” That Can Heal or Irritate You

  • some woman are ‘hotter’, some are ‘cooler’
    • a cool woman is soothing, and hot woman is more passionate
  • men, during different parts of their life, may desire some temperatures over others
  • if you’re a more easy-going and/or unmotivated man, then a ‘hotter’ woman might be better. If you are more of a quick tempered and hot man yourself, then a ‘cooler’ woman might be better for you.
  • just cause your wife is one way and your energy needs change, doesn’t mean you end your marriage. You can get the other feminine energy from other woman in non-sexual ways, like a massage

Part Four: What Women Really Want

29: Choose a Woman Who Chooses You

  • a man’s neediness will undermine a relationship, so if the woman does NOT want you, don’t go after her.
  • ‘once she feels that you need her MORE than she needs you, she will never trust your masculine core.’
  • this is because of the priority of masculine and feminine
    • masculine: mission, purpose, direction
    • feminine: the flow of love in intimacy
  • the man desiring the woman more means his feminine is stronger than hers

30: What She Wants is Not What She Says

  • sometimes women test their men, so not everything she says is something she’d want you to do
  • a woman wants to test your truth, your mission, your direction. So she’ll do that by distracting you, for example. She wants to see that you stay firm to your truth yet love her at the same time
  • so next time she tests you, look at your deep wisdom and think about your truth and mission.

31: Her Complaint is Content-Free

  • the specifics of her complaint are not important. Typically it’s a warning sign that the man needs to fix up. Maybe he’s going off course. Maybe he’s being less masculine. Etc
  • for example, she might get hysterical at you for not cleaning the garage. But maybe the real complaint is something else. Maybe she’s been telling you to do this for weeks on end. Now she doubts your integrity. She cannot trust you any longer. This is the REAL complaint

32: She Doesn’t Really Want to be Number One

  • a woman truly wants her man to be focused on his highest purpose FIRST. But also love her fully too. But the purpose is number one
  • a man’s highest purpose is his priority, not his intimacy
  • a man’s relationship is important to his purpose, but it’s not the center of it nor dependent on it

33: Your Excellent Track Record is Meaningless to Her

  • for women, their man’s history doesn’t matter. If he’s an asshole now, even though he’s been very good for 10 years, all she sees is an asshole
  • her feelings in the moment trump any previous feeling
  • for men, we can forgive other men if they make a mistake, if they have a good track record. But women don’t operate this way
  • this also means that when you do fuck up, give her your love right away and she’ll forget the mistake soon after
    • there’s no point justifying your mistake by referring to your past successes. Just give her love

34: She Wants to Relax in the Demonstration of Your Direction

  • in order for a woman to relax in her feminine energy, the man must take direction of everything: financially, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually
  • your woman, if she’s feminine enough, WANTS you to make the decisions. So make them.

Part Five: Your Dark Side

35: You Are Always Searching for Freedom

  • the highest masculine desire or ecstasy is ‘in the moment of release from constraint’, i.e. freedom
    • examples: facing death and living through it, succeeding in your purpose (therefore being released from it), finishing a competition, etc
  • this desire for freedom involves the feeling of death
    • orgasm is called ‘petite mort’ (little death) in French
    • you say that you hope your favorite UFC fighter kills the other, or your football team kills the opposing side
    • you say your business is ‘killing’ it
  • war, which is literal death, is a good example of death + freedom. War resonates with all men.
  • on the other hand, the feminine search for love rather than freedom

36: Own Your Darkest Desires

  • interesting…?

37: She Wants The “Killer” In You

  • the man should kill the bugs. The man should check out the strange sound coming downstairs. Your woman will be turned off otherwise
  • the dark masculine warrior is one who can kill if necessary and face death

38: She Needs Your Consciousness To Match Her Energy

  • the feminine destructress must be met by the masculine destroyer
  • a woman will test you with the energy you cannot match
    • if you can’t handle her anger, she will continuously test you with it
  • the world tests you the same way your woman does. So if you respond well to her tests, she knows you can face the world

Part Six: Feminine Attractiveness

39: The Feminine is Abundant

  • if a man feels ‘there are no good women’, it is likely rooted in his early childhood relationship with his mother.
    • life itself is the feminine, so there is never a shortage of feminine energy. A man who feels this way has a resistance to receiving, trusting, and embracing the feminine

40: Allow Older Women Their Magic

  • older woman are wiser, and often have a ‘deeper feminine radiance’ to them

41: Turn Your Lust Into Gifts

  • the lust you feel from women can be transformed into energy for your whole body, rather than just going to your head (fantasies) or your genitals.

42: Never Allow Your Desire to Become Suppressed or Depolarized

  • your woman can feel when you are rejecting her or suppressing your desire for the feminine
  • it only takes a moment of praise and deep appreciation to re-evoke a woman’s radiance - p. 153

43: Use Her Attractiveness As A Slingshot Through Appearance

  • women can attract you, heal you, and inspire your gifts, but they will NEVER satisfy you absolutely

Part Seven: Body Practices

44: Ejaculation Should Be Converted Or Consciously Chosen

  • ejaculation drains your energy and motivation. So be careful how you ‘spend’ your ejaculation

45: Breath Down the Front

  • take deep full belly breaths

46: Ejaculate Up The Spine

  • contract your pelvic floor, like your trying not to shit/pee, while breathing sexual energy up your spine. This is how you feel a whole body orgasm rather than ejaculating.

Part Eight: Men’s and Women’s Yoga of Intimacy

47: Take Into Account The Primary Asymmetry

  • intimate relationship is never the primary priority in a masculine man’s life, but it is for the women. Man and woman must support each other in their priorities if the relationship is going to serve them both
  • we can go as far as to say that for men, their women is replaceable.
  • a woman’s primary priority is her loving nature, loving her man

48: You Are Responsible For the Growth in Intimacy

  • the man is responsible for the direction of growth in the relationship

49: Insist on Practice and Growth

  • as a man you offer your woman direction, therefore if you yourself have no direction you have nothing to offer!
  • your woman will not accept guidance from you if you’re not living your life the way you want to, i.e. you have no purpose

50: Restore Your Purpose in Solitude and With Other Men

  • women need other women in order to strengthen their feminine radiance
  • men need both solitude and company with other men to restore their purpose
  • 2 ways to rediscover your masculine core
    • men, sometimes need to do NOTHING in order to tap into the suffering that is laying dormant. We’re so busy with daily life that we never confront our suffering
    • challenge: like a competitive sport, or just anything that is challenging to you personally, like public speaking

51: Practice Dissolving

  • trust whatever direction love moves you
  • fear is your final excuse. Don’t fight it. Love through it

Short Summary & Analysis

Part One: A Man’s Way

  • you are your OWN man. Own yourself. Own your life. Your woman doesn’t control you. Your father doesn’t control you. Give EVERYTHING you have to your woman and the world.

Part Two: Dealing with Women

  • women are very feeling-oriented, therefore their mood can change quite rapidly. This also means their ‘word’ is not necessarily truth, but that does not make them liars.
  • do NOT tolerate your woman, rather when she is in a negative mood, give her as much of your love as you possibly can.
  • Your woman is constantly testing you. The chaos she produces is not something you should run from, rather you should FACE it the way you’d face the chaos that the world throws at you. If you run from her chaos, she would think of you as a weak man who can’t face the world.

Part Three: Working with Polarity and Energy

  • the masculine is naturally attracted to the feminine. Do not be afraid of this.
  • the feminine is important to a man’s life just as the masculine is important to the woman’s life, therefore choose a woman who is your complementary opposite.
  • women have different energies: some are hot, some are cool. Women are never strictly one, they go back and forth between them. Similarly, the masculine may crave a specific energy at different points of his life.

Part Four: What Women Really Want

  • Never chase a woman who does NOT want you. This will make you appear weak and it will also diminish your masculine core as a man. This is because the feminine naturally desires the ‘flow of intimacy’, this is not a masculine trait.
  • Women naturally test their men, therefore what she says may not be true (or truth hidden behind a lot of fluff), it may be a test even if she doesn’t realize it.
  • Your woman wants to see the masculine core in you shine bright. She wants to see you in your element, with a purpose, and full of love. Leading your relationship and all aspects of it is incredibly important as a man as it is not in the feminine energy to make decisions.

Part Five: Your Dark Side

  • the highest masculine desire/ecstasy is freedom (i.e. “in the moment of release from constraint”)
    • ejaculation is one form of this, albeit a rather ‘low’ form
    • higher forms include living through a life-threatening experience (i.e. from constraint to freedom), succeeding in your purpose (and therefore being released/free from it), finishing a competition, etc
    • the feeling of freedom often involves death, like the way you want your sports team to ‘kill’ the opposing team.
    • war is highest form of freedom. You fight for freedom, you fight for those you love, and you face death,
      • love, freedom, death = 3 components of the highest masculine desire
  • your woman doesn’t want a weak man. She DESIRES the killer in you. She needs to know you can face death without fear.
  • again, your woman is constantly testing you, whether she knows it or not. She will test you with her anger and you must respond will. This will reassure her that you can face the hardships of the world

Part Six: Feminine Attractiveness

  • feminine energy is everywhere. Life itself is the feminine. There is never a shortage of feminine energy. Therefore if you think no good women exist anymore, the problem is YOU. You must resolve the inner conflict/trauma. You must NOT resist receiving, trusting, and embracing the feminine
  • the feminine is the fundamental lifeforce for the masculine. It can attract you, heal you, and inspire you. But, you must remember the feminine can NEVER satisfy you absolutely.

Part Seven: Body Practices

  • be careful how you ‘spend’ your ejaculate because it drains your energy and motivation.
  • Something as simple as taking full and deep belly breaths throughout the day will do wonders for you.

Part Eight: Men’s and Women’s Yoga of Intimacy

  • men and women must support each other in their priorities if the relationship is going to serve them both
  • the man is the leader and therefore responsible for the growth in intimacy and in the relationship
    • the man must be deeply embedded in his masculine core to do this. After all, if you have no direction yourself, how could you possible direct your relationship and your woman?
  • a man requires solitude and company with other men to restore their purpose. Women often need other women to mutually strengthen each other’s feminine radiance
    • in solitude, do NOTHING. This will allow you to tap into the suffering that is laying dormant. Unfortunately, we’re so busy with daily living that we never have the chance to fully face our suffering that is rooted deep within us. This is important as the masculine requires a degree of suffering to stay sharp and in his peak performance. Too much comfort can dissolve the masculine core. Comfort is where the feminine thrives.

Actionable Things

These are 5 things that I feel are immediately actionable for most people:

Reflections

“9: Do it for love” really stood out to me. Find what you love doing and do that. It will be a more rewarding experience. This is specifically in terms of career but could also apply to hobbies, etc.

We often chase money and put our passions/interests aside. Although the pursuit of money is great and as a man is crucial, we shouldn’t neglect our passions. If you could turn your passion into a money-making opportunity, that would be the ideal case scenario. In fact, you should give it a shot, and don’t just think about it, I mean give it an honest shot. Try to pursue your passion as a career opportunity and see where it takes you. If it doesn’t work out, fair enough. At least you tried. If you hadn’t tried, you’d have never have known what the outcome would’ve been. Next, try to pursue your passions as a hobby. Set aside some time to do this during the week. You’ll be happier for it.

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